I can be hard on myself. Especially when I make a promise to myself and say this time will be different... and then it isn't.
First comes the feeling of failure. Followed by the harsh words that you tell yourself and maybe even start to believe.
_______________________________________________________
On Monday, I made another promise to myself and Ashley. The same promise that I always make...
This morning I started beating myself up for thinking that this go around would be different. I told myself that getting to 120lbs was stupid. Why put myself through all of this torture when it's never going to happen. It's too hard of a goal. Basically unattainable, so just give up now.
It took me most of the day to realize the positive and transform my thinking. I have come a long way damn it. I have been working out consistently since January and weight lifting for about 3 weeks now. My pants are looser and I feel myself getting stronger. Not only that, but my weight range has changed. Before my weight rang was between 136-133. Then it changed 134-131. And now it's between 131-128.
A reminder to myself. You are seeing change. Stop being hard on yourself. You are going in the right direction and will soon reach your goal. It takes time and many, many promises to yourself {and Ashley}. It's not something that happens overnight. It's a process.
Starting Weight (2/28/11): 134.6lbs
Current Weight: 129.6lbs
Total Weight Loss: -5lbs
Goal Weight: 120lbs
Note: Patience
I'm glad you are trying to be easier on yourself. Remember...goals work differently for everyone. Some people are satisified with a number, others like to actually feel the difference. I would like to be back down to 120, but what I REALLY want is to fit into my Lucky Jeans that I haven't been able to squeeze into for over five years. I still have them and when I pull them out of the closet, they make me remember my REAL goal. Yes, I would love to be 120...but if I fit in those jeans I don't care what I weigh! :)
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more!! Numbers are just numbers. What REALLY matters is how you feel and how you "see" your body changing. Especially since we all know that muscle weighs more than fat. It doesn't matter how much I work out, I remain within that 5lb. flux--I've actually gained weight before (just from adding more muscle). Try not to get so caught up with the numbers game. Believe me, I'd much rather "look" like I weighed 120 lbs., not just see a number a machine spits out at me.....YOU FRICKEN LOOK AWESOME!!! And you are in killer shape....AND you are confident....THAT'S what matters.
ReplyDeleteThanks Monica and Angie for the words of encouragement! I needed it!! I am working one being kinder to myself. :)
ReplyDelete